Much has been made (lots of it by us) over the love scenes in Woody Allen's new Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Problem is, the film's non-threesomes aren't just dull by our standards — they're even kinda boring by Woody Allen's typical ones. After all, this is the director who gave us the Orgasmatron and the sex orb! And went down on Bette Midler in a theater! Plus, he once made Gene Wilder bone a sheep. After the jump, video of Ten Woody Allen Sex Scenes Better Than the Ones in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Beehived shit-starter Amy Winehouse told a British tabloid yesterday that she's planning on releasing her rejected theme song for the upcoming Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, to "prove that they have made a big mistake" by picking one by Jack White and Alicia Keys. "I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring," she said, presumably while acting in a completely responsible manner. "When I do release mine — and I am tempted to do it on the same day — this would be the bigger hit." Is she right? Probably! In recent years, Bond producers have exhibited pretty terrible judgment when it comes to picking their songwriting-contest winners. After the jump, hear five great passed-on Bond themes better than the ones they lost out to.

It's a well-established fact that — thanks to TiVo, Internet piracy, and increased competition from video games — all traditional forms of popular entertainment are now a hundred times less popular than they were just a few short years ago. Naturally, then, we'd assumed this year's Summer Olympics in Beijing would suffer the same viewer antipathy that's plagued recent awards shows, major sporting events, and American Idol finales. As usual, though, we were completely wrong! Friday's opening ceremony was watched by 34.2 million people, the most ever for a non-domestic summer opener, proving that Americans can be made to care about practically anything, provided it only happens once every four years. What other entertainment events should be on an Olympics schedule?

One of the complaints often voiced by Olympics haters is that the sports played are too obscure and seem made up. Sure, LeBron James gets to play basketball in China, but who cares about team handball, modern pentathlon, and the 400-meter individual medley? But for us, the fringy sports we see only once every four years are what make the Olympics great. We can watch baseball any old time, but how awesome is it to watch guys whose whole lives are devoted to the art of badminton?

With that in mind, we started thinking about some other sports we wish they played in the Olympics. Cricket, sure, and it's pretty crazy the Olympics don't include golf. But why limit our discussion to sports that actually exist? What about Quidditch? It's the wizarding world's favorite sport, appearing in some of the most popular books ever written. We'd watch world-class Quidditch players in action. Wouldn't you? With that in mind, here are ten fictional sports we wish we could see played in Beijing.

A few weeks ago, Vulture set out on an ambitious quest to find 2008's Song of the Summer, a track that would rule the pop charts, be inescapable on the radio and in the streets, and probably wind up on your mom's iPod sometime in October. It would have to be immediately catchy, evocative of the season, and as universally loved as last year's de facto warm-weather anthem, "Umbrella" by Rihanna. Annoyingly, a consensus has not yet been reached, and at this point we are still unable to declare a definitive winner. Even so, we felt it our duty as patriotic Americans to name our top summer jams so you could bump something in your ride with confidence over the upcoming Fourth of July holiday.

We've ranked each of the serious contenders using Vulture's patented Summerability Formula™, which quantitatively adds up a track's radio airplay, iTunes sales, and magnitude of pop-cultural penetration, then multiplies that number by how awesome we find the song's chorus. After the jump, you'll find Vulture's Top Five Songs of the Summer.

Well, soon it'll be 2009 Academy Award winner Wall-E, but which of Pixar's eight previous wonders of the movie world will this week's apparent masterpiece be supplanting atop the list? Every Pixar movie has its proponents: Foodies love Ratatouille; sentimentalists love Toy Story; dads love Finding Nemo; cars love Cars. But which is actually the best? And which is the worst? And what does "worst" mean when you're talking about Pixar? Vulture breaks it down, after the jump.

The three-month writers' strike of 2007–2008 may have cost the American economy $2.5 billion, and Lost fans two hours of inscrutable entertainment, but that's nothing compared to the fallout still on the way. Next week, we'll see the first wave of awful reality-TV shows green-lit when network scribes were still picketing. Competitive vomiting! Baby borrowing! Joey Fatone! You are now entering the unscripted apocalypse. After the jump, Vulture's list of the Twenty Worst Reality Shows of Summer.

Now that many of our readers have a chance to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, we can finally talk about it openly. Sure, like Conan O'Brien, we liked the ants, and we've already made clear that we thought Shia LaBeouf was better than we expected. But we had plenty of questions about the movie, too — moments that confused us, angered us, or made us wonder if we or George Lucas had gone totally crazy. (And we say that as the Vulture editor who liked the movie.) After the jump, our ten most pressing (and spoilery) questions about the movie that's likely to break every box-office record ever this weekend. Maybe Spielberg will stop by and answer some! Probably not, though.

It is a dearly held belief among many young, city-dwelling adults that the threshold to adolescence is paved with gangsta rap, slasher flicks, and hard-core pornography. Like most adults, these people have no clue what’s happening with kids today. The great tradition of clean-cut teenage entertainment — long elbowed to the pop-culture margins by the likes of James Dean, Cheech and Chong, and Kurt Cobain — has roared back to life in the digital age, fueled by tweens with disposable allowances and high-speed Internet connections. And fascinatingly, it has spawned a new breed of young stars: the Goody-Goodies. This slideshow presents the top ten churchgoing, non-drinking, promise-ring-wearing singer-actors from inside and outside the Disney universe — along with their great shames and potential for corruption. You probably know Miley Cyrus, the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star with so wholesome an image that Vanity Fair created an uproar merely by publishing a picture of her (um) bare back. Before you start pooh-poohing the goody-goody lifestyle, just remember: You’re old, and no one cares what you think anyhow. —Nick Catucci

With the release today of What Happens in Vegas…, the Cameron Diaz–Ashton Kutcher comedy that proves romance isn't dead in American cinema ("There isn’t anything to say other than to note its insulting ugliness and ineptitude" —Manohla Dargis), we see that Hollywood has once and for all moved past its once blinkered view of movie titles — that they must be a funny pun or a witty turn of phrase, or the name of the main character in the movie, or come from a deathless line of dialogue, or Shakespeare/the Bible, or maybe at worst a classic-rock song lyric. What Happens in Vegas… signifies that it is totally okay for a screenwriter to think of just a thing that people say — maybe sort of an advertising catchphrase! — and then write an entire movie around it.

Well, why stop with What Happens in Vegas…? Here are ten other sayings we hope Hollywood adapts into movies soon. Feel free to borrow our pitches, after the jump!